I am back. You may not have known, but I took a 9-week sabbatical. Wanted to share publically a couple of reflections, learning lessons, and some takeaways.

General Reflections:

Just want to start off with a big thank you. This sabbatical could only be possible because of the staff, board, and community that supports ENP. This is a new practice for us as an organization and the first time for me. Because of such a professional, knowledgeable, and trustworthy staff, I could leave knowing that things would be handled. Thank you.

The 1 sentence summary is… that I had a lot of fun with my family, deepened the focus on my marriage, learned more about myself, and put into place some spiritual practices that can help anchor me in the next season of work at ENP and life in general.

It was a wonderful gift and I wish every job would embed this type of rhythm into their work. As a family, we did some work projects around the house, traveled the whole month of July, and rested in between. Entering sabbatical I had a sense that the call was still to ENP and I still feel that. The call or the challenge was how can I do this job for the long run. How can I be a healthy leader into the next 7 years and beyond?

Practices:

• Silence & Solitude – I started off the sabbatical by taking 4 days alone in silence (I did have some friends visit). Each month I also did a day hike by myself.
• Spiritual Direction with Lynn Baker – Every 2-3 weeks.
• Centering Prayer – Started the practice at 1x per day for 20 mins. What is Centering Prayer? “Centering prayer is a remarkably simple method that opens one to God’s gift of contemplative prayer. Its practice expands one’s receptivity to the presence and activity of God in one’s life. This active presence heals, transforms, and offers freedom and peace. into two relatively short periods of prayer each day.”
• Positive Intelligence Program – The program is based off a book, but helps you learn how to become more mentally fit by discrediting my unique Saboteurs, developing Self-Command, and activate positive Sage powers. Went thru this program with help from David Obwald, a friend and life coach. The focus of this program for me was to address these saboteurs directly in my marriage. My wife is amazing, but there were some rough edges in which she was not feeling like I was her biggest fan, but often a critic. As I head back to work I will keep this program going.
• Outdoors – One of the primary ways I recharge is in nature. So we had a lot of outdoor time.

Books:

• The Atlas Six – Olivie Blake – Fiction – Fun book of a magical secret society. Started in on the sequel.
• The Rise and Fall of Dispensationalism: How the Evangelical Battle over the End Times Shaped a Nation – Daniel G. Hummel – Fascinating history on the theological journey of the end times thinking we now call Dispensationalism. Theology is always changing and adapting to what sells and is simple and this book showed the evolution and marked out the big characters in a theology that has had a huge cultural influence over the last 50 years.
• Open Heart, Open Mind – Thomas Keating – Meet with a group of 5 others to process this book. Thomas Keating is one of the creators and main proponents of centering prayer. Helpful, but not a lot of context, unlike Cynthia’s book.
• Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening – Cynthia Bourgeault – Recommended by Lynn Baker this book does a great job of locating centering prayer within the Christian tradition and walking thru not only some basics, but some deeper teaching on its power and role in our lives.
• Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS – Shirzad Chamine – Read alongside doing the PQ App Program. Helpful stories and examples that complement the program and practice.
• This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life – Annie Grace – Read this post from Sarah and caused me to reflect on my use of alcohol. I probably had 1-2 drinks 2-4x a week, but what I noticed is that my body would crave it (my drink is an old-fashioned). The emotional connection or mental path of “this will help you unwind” was there. Been a month without any alcohol in the house and really enjoying it and no plans to change that.
• The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life Kindle Edition – Vanessa Patrick – Woo. This is a good book that names my problem. I give my time to acquaintances for fear of failure or to please them. The book builds out a research-backed strategy to be clearer on your yes’s and give an empowered no that comes from convictions and values and is respected by others.
• How to Inhabit Time: Understanding the Past, Facing the Future, Living Faithfully Now by James K. A. Smith – Deep in philosophy James K.A. Smith is naming the timeless culture I grew up in and how anchoring in the frailty and the now of the moment can root us into the future. Beautifully written and draws deep on Ecclesiastics.
• Epitaph for a Peach: Four Seasons on My Family Farm by David M. Masumoto – A local legend. I have wanted to read this for a while and it is poetic, funny, and pointed. Loved it.

Some Personal/Leadership Reflections:

• Hyper-Vigilant – I can be hyper-vigilant which causes me to be skeptical, even cynical. This looks like a low level of anxiety, with doubts about myself and others. I can become suspicious of what others are up to or how people mess up. I have seen this in my work, marriage, and even during my sabbatical. One small example is that it was hard to rest! I would evaluate everything I was doing as being “good enough” or “right” for the sabbatical. Pretty exhausting.
• Pace – My pace is not sustainable and I say yes to too many things and a lot of it has to do with the amount of value I place in how others see me. Wanting to succeed in the job and be known as an organization and person that gets things done, serves, and is present are all good things, but there needs to be a stronger filter on what is mine to do, a process to filter opportunities out and a schedule that matches my humanity. There will always be more to do than time allows, but I do want to spend this next season on doing things I love and move us forward than things I regret saying yes to.
• Creativity – Instead of being a victim to my leadership role I need to shape it to allow me to be a bit more creative or do things that bring me joy. I love writing and I miss writing. I love creating, gathering people for important conversations, and deep (wonder-type) thinking. I have let emails and meetings become the norm for my schedule. I am not sure the “what” to produce (outside of finishing our drive tour), but after that, I want to create more creative space which I also think will drive ENP forward too.

What is next?

• Continue the practice of centering prayer, eventually adding an afternoon/night session. Allowing this practice to be a way of release of my hyper-vigilance and allowing God to do the work in and around me. 
• More protective scheduling & saying NO more (empowered refusal).
• Focus on affirming my wife and others around me. Moving from hyper-vigilance to supporter/encourager.
• Create space to be more creative @ ENP (i.e. writing, podcast, tbd?).
• Love to begin some level of executive coaching to continue to develop my leadership.

Again just want to say thank you so much for supporting ENP. If you haven’t I would love for you to consider it. I can’t wait to see what God does in and through the work at ENP. Glad to be back!

– Andrew